God put it in our heart. We needed reassurance that this was the right step for us to take. In several unmistakable ways, the Lord confirmed that it was without a doubt his will. We could not have been happier as pastors of our first church.
We moved from our small 32-foot fifth-wheel travel trailer into a beautiful three-bedroom brick parsonage in the quite farm community of Biscoe, Ark. We borrowed some furniture from both our families and set up housekeeping. Nathan was about 12 months old and had all kinds of room to crawl!
Randy and one of the men in the church remodeled a junk-filled room in the church and made it into his office. He unpacked books for days and was like a kid on Christmas morning. Two uneventful years passed, we had our second business meeting and overnight our sandcastle seemed to wash away! I no longer liked people or the ministry as much as I thought.
One of the families that was really struggling needed more of our time and attention, especially Randy’s. As young new pastors, we didn’t know much, but we did know how to love, and that’s what was really needed.
The Barnes family farmed about 600 acres of wheat, rice and soybeans with his brother. John appeared to struggle with living in his older brother’s shadow most of his life, and that along with other personal problems seemed to entrench him permanently at the boiling point.
At this business meeting, everything that was going wrong in his life at that moment seemed to spill over into our little rural church business meeting. Resentment and bitterness filled the hand grenades that he kept rolling down the aisles of the church.
People in general seemed stunned at this outburst, but most of them were aware of John’s volatile nature. His wife wilted with embarrassment, but he wasn’t to be detoured until he finished what he thought needed to be said.
Another dear lady in the church who had previous run-ins with John stood up in Randy’s defense and let John have a piece of her mind. The whole experience left us reeling and bewildered.
The Lord seemed to give Randy wisdom. He did his best to quell the confusion, call the congregation to prayer and later met with his board and the disgruntled farmer named John. As suspected, the church matter was only scraping the surface of what was going on in John’s life.
Disillusionment set up camp in our hearts. Needless to say, the whole experience made us a bit apprehensive about church business meetings over the next 20 years of pastoral ministry.
I realized several years ago that our faith is a lot like our marriage. A few weeks ago, Randy and I flew to Norfolk, Va., to do a Marriage Encounter weekend. A hotel shuttle was waiting to pick us up, and in conversation our reason for being in Norfolk was brought up with the driver — to hold a marriage conference.
“Oh,” he said, “I should have gone to one of them a long time ago!”
He went on, “I got a divorce 20 years ago and ain’t never gonna get married again!”
“Well, Cindy and I have been married almost 28 years, there have been some rough spots, but the Lord has helped us get through them,” Randy told him.
“That’s what was missing in our marriage,” he said, “the Lord.”
Cindy and I have learned that there are three stages of love that our relationship goes through — repeatedly! The first is the most obvious — romance — because marriage begins with what is known as a honeymoon, or at least it’s supposed to.
But life happens! Sooner or later every couple hits the brick wall of disillusionment. Misunderstandings are a fact of life. We begin to discover and focus more on our differences, and life’s experiences have a way of magnifying those differences to the point of perceived irreconcilable differences.
The third stage is one of immense gratification and accomplishment; it’s what we call unbridled joy. So many are in search of the illusive pinnacle of happiness, but real joy comes when we decide to love on purpose and work through the hardships together.
Much is missed when two people who are in love decide to discontinue working on their relationship and move on with their lives. Real growth and maturity takes place when we can see beyond ourselves, beyond our dreams and commit to aiding and encouraging our life partner to reach for the stars.
So it is with our faith. Undoubtedly, you may find yourself at just such a point right now. Someone has hurt you or disappointed you, someone you trusted and depended on; someone who shares your faith. It happens.
Naively, we think people of faith and the church environment are safe territory and void of any such heart-wrenching experiences. Though it stills remains one of the best places to grow in grace, please don’t forget: Disillusionment is a fact of faith.
Randy and Cindy Sheridan reside in Burleson. He is a speaker,
counselor and mediator.
He can be reached at
drsheridan@aol.com
Opinion
Randy and Cindy Sheridan: Disillusionment: It’s a fact of faith
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