Cleburne Times-Review, Cleburne, TX

Opinion

June 27, 2014

Don Newbury: Observations, thoughts and scatter shots

Like a Mother Hubbard dress, the column is covering everything and touching nothing.

Honest-to-goodness columnists who write scatter-shooting accounts on miscellaneous topics often refer to such pieces as “potpourri.” This has always impressed me, since my using the word always requires a visit to Webster or Google — my predictable response to a spell check squiggle.

I usually call it a “Mother Hubbard” column, which, like the frontier dress so named, covers everything but touches nothing.

That’s the current intent, with thoughts and observations all over the map, some of them original.

———

Here’s a friendly warning to editors who may have just arrived at rural newspapers.

This is the time of year farmers bring in pictures of produce on hormones. They’ll brag that the trophy-sized cucumbers/squash/watermelons/gourds are the biggest ever grown in the county.

Run a picture claiming same, and do so at your peril. As surely as you do, expect another farmer next week to bring in identical produce, only larger. And the growing season still has a couple of months to run.

———

Instant racing (sometimes called historical racing) allows participants to bet on horse and dog races already run — some kind of video/automated/coin-operated deal.

How far along would red-nosed and fuzzy-minded gamblers need to be to fall for such a set-up?

My guess? Imbibers would be several drinks beyond amiable incandescence.

———

Kids are off to church camps this summer, and they come home with new songs, stories and table grace ditties.

One brought smiles repeating a mealtime prayer heard at a table of, uh, teen campers.

“Bless this meat. Leave the skin. Back your ears, and dive right in.”

———

One of our two rescue dogs, a red Dachshund, is a toe-licker extraordinaire.

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Opinion
  • Don Newbury: Observations, thoughts and scatter shots

    Like a Mother Hubbard dress, the column is covering everything and touching nothing.

    June 27, 2014

  • Don Newbury: Two thumbs up for cruising from teens

    The dots could have been connected quickly by a 2-year-old during the few weeks or months between pacifier-sucking and iPhone text messaging. Predictably, my mental connection of the dots stretched over a few hours.

    May 23, 2014

  • Don Newbury: Most is ‘right’ with the world

    It was a source of amusement — for folks outside my family, anyway — when my 27 fellow seniors honored me during our final year at Early High School in 1956. I was elected — unanimously, I might add — most likely to remain left-handed.

    May 16, 2014

  • Don Newbury: Flappables twisting in the wind

    One can determine much about a man by observation, taking note of the way he dresses and carries himself.

    March 14, 2014

  • New Newbury-Don color.tif United States: A nation big on words

    We Americans are a wordy bunch, particularly after election to public office.

     

    January 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • New Newbury-Don color.tif On matters of disagreement

    A dozen people — maybe more — have laid claim to the admonition we’ve all heard many times. For all I know, it may have first been stated by Emily Post, Amy Vanderbilt, Miss Manners or Little Miss Muffett. Anyway, it is well-worn: “We can disagree without being disagreeable.”

    January 10, 2014 1 Photo

  • New Newbury-Don color.tif New thoughts from an old guy

    I’m guessing my Uncle Mort’s forward thinking for the new year more likely is akin to slumgullion stew, or simply a hodge-podge of thoughts he’s carried forward to the new year.

    January 3, 2014 1 Photo

  • Don Newbury Social media’s Christmas miracle?

    Likelihood is great that airlines of the world — most of them maligned by flustered flyers venting their feelings when flights go awry — owe much gratitude to a single member of their flock.

    December 26, 2013 1 Photo

  • New Newbury-Don color.tif Bypassing the friendly skies for a road trip

    For the longest time, Americans by the millions were pampered and charmed by airlines in general. One ad urged us to “fly the friendly skies.” And we did, with pleasure.

    December 20, 2013 1 Photo

  • Don Newbury: The courage of his conviction

    Our citizens, in general, wait — too patiently, too quietly — for a big dose of indignation.

    November 15, 2013

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