Cleburne Times-Review, Cleburne, TX

Monica Faram

December 11, 2011

Monica Faram: What ‘they’ don’t tell you about being a mom

I always knew there was this secret mothers club. While it might not be a club that meets monthly and has officers, it’s a club nonetheless.

Being a mother instantly bonds women. Have you ever seen two women with babies approach each other, even strangers?

Stranger 1: Oh, your baby is so cute. How old is she?

Stranger 2: Ten months. And how old is your little one?

S1: Eleven months. Is yours walking yet? Little Susie Q. started trying to the other day.

S2: Oh that’s just wonderful. Johnny started crawling when he was only five months.

See? Instant friendship. That conversation might go on for another 10 minutes or an hour.

Well, I couldn’t have been happier when I joined that secret club.

Our little girl, London Elaine, entered this world at 4:29 p.m. Oct. 20. She decided to give her momma a tough time so it was a long day for all. But in the end ... it was all worth it.

She was 22 inches long and weighed 7 pounds, 2 ounces. Now at seven weeks, she’s up to 9 pounds, 9 ounces.

Even though she’s not even two months old yet, she’s already turned my life upside down. I never dreamed how much my life would change when she arrived. Nine months preparing was not long enough.

We’ve been very blessed with a happy baby who hardly ever cries and sleeps well at night. Nothing could have made it easier. We just hope she’ll always be such an easy child.

While I was pregnant and since she’s been born, everyone I know has given me advice. It’s like every woman feels it is her motherly duty to help prepare you for what is in store. Not that I minded the advice at all. In fact, some of it was very helpful.

But there are a few things that no one ever told me. Things that I have discovered the short time I have been a mother.

zx Your heart grows unimaginably when you have a child. You feel love so deep that you never knew existed. You truly begin to understand what it means to love someone so much you’d die for them.

zx Everyone talks about your lack at sleep with a newborn. What they don’t tell you is that by some miracle, you survive. Even if you only get a couple hours of sleep, you still manage to make it through the next day.

zx You don’t have to be superwoman. If someone offers to bring you a meal or help you with something, accept. You never know how much that can help just to not have to worry about cooking one night.

zx Just because a routine, medicine or something else worked for your mom, grandma, friend, whoever ... doesn’t mean it will work for you and your baby. You have to learn and adjust to your child’s needs and find out what they want, despite what you might think or know.

zx Most of all, just trust your instinct. Women are born with this innate sense of “knowing” what they need to know about children and being a mother. Yours will kick in right away and don’t doubt it.

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Monica Faram
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