Published: October 27, 2009 04:27 pm      

Monica Green: What women mean when they say ...

My fiance Clint and I recently started attending the couples class at our church in preparation for our marriage.

It’s been a wonderful experience so far as we study with other couples of a wide range of ages and personalities about “Building A Marriage that will Last.”

Last Sunday’s class was about communication. This is a problem for just about every male and female on this planet. The class discussion about men and women communicating has had me thinking all week, so when I stumbled across something that goes along with that on the Internet, I knew I had to share.

So without further ado, I give you nine phrases women use.

zx Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

zx Five minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

zx Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in “fine.”

zx Go ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.

zx Loud sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to No. 3 for the meaning of nothing.) Note: this expression may be followed by “fine.” (See No. 1.)

zx That’s okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

zx Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. I want to add in a clause here — This is true, unless she says “Thanks a lot” — that is pure sarcasm, and she is not thanking you at all. Do not say “you’re welcome.” That will bring on a “whatever.”

zx Whatever: This is a woman’s way of saying “You can go to … as far as I am concerned.”

zx Don’t worry about it; I’ve got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to No. 3.

Though entertaining and funny, this list is eerily accurate. Perhaps it will help men understand women a little better.