Published: January 13, 2008 04:47 pm            

Monica Green: You can do what with that?

One of my pet peeves is junk e-mail. My inbox is cluttered with it every morning. E-mails from advertising companies, computer generated junk mail ... and forwards from my friends.

I love my friends dearly, but I hate getting e-mails that say “If you love Jesus, forward this e-mail. If you don’t forward it, it means you hate him.” I don’t think Jesus cares whether or not we forward a stupid e-mail.

I received a useful e-mail recently. It gave me a list of different ways Coca-Cola could be used, other than for consumption. Most of the reasons made me glad that I am not much of a Coke drinker.

Before writing about the tips I discovered, I decided I should check out the origin of the list. I found Joey Green, known as the “guru of weird uses for brand-name products,” according to his Web site, www.wackyuses.com.

Green has written more than 40 books and formerly worked as an advertising copywriter. He quit his job and spent 10 years discovering alternative uses for products such as Jell-O, Vaseline, Coca-Cola and Spam.

So in honor of him, I decided to write not just about tips for using Coca-Cola but other household objects too.

zx Alberto V05 Conditioning Hairdressing can be used to shine a horse’s hooves, detangle and shine a dog’s coat and prevent cat hair balls and static electricity on a cat’s coat.

zx Alka-Seltzer can soothe insect bites, polish jewelry and clean a Thermos.

zx Cheerios can relieve itching from chicken pox, create a moisturizing facial and make a Cheerios chicken meal.

zx Clairol Herbal Essences can be used to wash dishes or cars and clean grease from hands, and it works for shaving.

zx Clorox Bleach can extend the life of freshly cut flowers, clean caulking around bathtubs, deodorize the sink garbage disposal and freshen old sponges.

zx Coca-Cola, the inspiration for this column, can get rid of fruit flies, clean eyeglasses, strip paint off metal patio furniture, prevent an asthma attack and flatulence and be used as mousse for hair.

zx Crayola Chalk can prevent an ant invasion, prevent dampness in a closet, polish marble and metal and prevent costume jewelry from tarnishing.

zx French’s Mustard can relieve the symptoms of arthritis, soothe tired feet and sore muscles or throats and deodorize bottles.

zx Irish Spring can be used to repel deer; freshen the air in a vehicle, drawers or closet; prevent musty suitcases; and be used as a lubricant for many items.

zx Lipton Tea Bags can dye graying white fabrics, highlight hair, stop gums from bleeding and invigorate house plants.

zx Listerine can cure acne, disinfect a washing machine, be used as a deodorant and prevent dandruff.

zx Maxwell House coffee can also highlight hair, repel ants, deodorize the refrigerator and freezer and cover spots on black suede.

zx Maybelline Crystal Clear Nail Polish can be used to prevent rust on toilet seat screws and tighten loose dresser drawer knobs.

zx Nestlé Carnation nonfat dry milk can be used to paint your house, remove makeup, make a slight crack in a dish disappear and clean plant leaves and silver.

zx Oral-B Mint Waxed Floss can cut a birthday cake, sew buttons on heavy coats and lift cookies from a cookie sheet.

zx Reynolds Wrap can keep dogs and cats off furniture, speed up ironing and readhere a Linoleum floor tile.

zx Vaseline petroleum jelly can be used to lure trout, revive dried leather, stop refrigerator racks from sticking and discourage candle wax from sticking to candle holders.

zx WD-40 can keep away squirrels, clean crayon from a blackboard and remove baked-on food.

zx Wishbone Thousand Island dressing can be used to pry apart two bowls or glasses, remove candle wax from wood furniture and remove dried glue and gum left from price tags and labels from glass, metals and most plastics.

zx Ziploc storage bags can be used to improvise a diaper changing mat, pipe icing on a cake and clean a shower head.

For the complete instructions on any of these tips and more tips for these and other products, visit Green’s Web site at www.wackyuses.com.

        

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